I am angry at the loss of my dream, the happily-ever-after marriage.

I am angry at the loss of my status as a married person. I am now a single in a couples’ social world.

I am angry about the loss of my home as it once was. Either I have to leave it or feel the emptiness as I live in it alone.

I am angry that my “soulmate” is no longer an active, positive part of my world.

I am angry that my children have to be “shared” on a scheduled basis.

I am angry that the children are feeling the same loss I am, without the ability to totally understand. (I do not even totally understand it!)

I am angry that I have to count pennies like never before.

I have heard friends and friends-of-friends make statements like this for years. Just for fun, I looked up “quotes about anger.” (I love Google!) What I found was incredible wisdom, some from familiar people and some from people I have never heard of.

Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” How many times has our anger smoldered while the person we are angry with walks around as though everything is just fine? (Which, by the way, just makes us angrier.) Face it, he/she does not know that anything is wrong.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of happiness”, said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Notice that we give up the happiness; the object of our wrath does not!

I like this next quote, although I am not sure I like how it can apply to my life. “Anger blows out the lamp of the mind” was a statement by Robert Green Ingersoll, identified as a 19th century American statesman and orator. When we are angry, logic and common sense are not at the forefront of a conversation, even those we are having with ourselves.

Anger and fear are, in many ways, an unfortunate, integral part of the divorce process. Dr. Robert Anthony, identified as a self-help author, states, “The angry people are those people who are most afraid.” We need to control our anger, not let our anger control us. Easy to say; not easy to do!

Collaborative professionals are dedicated to making sure that anger does not rule negotiations and mediation. Channeling anger into purposeful action is not an easy task, but it is essential for the good of all involved in the process.

I found other marvelous quotes and insights about anger, so I am going to continue this topic another week. See you then!

Copyright 2013. Marjorie E. James. All rights reserved.