Marjorie JamesOne of the greatest difficulties in the midst of change is accepting what has occurred and moving forward. Many people call this process “letting go.” Even when the decision is one that we have made, the transition is difficult.

Two years ago, I knew it was time to give up my podium and retire from teaching. Because I had signed a contract for the coming school year, I had a year of teaching after my husband and I made the decision. I, honestly, kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, I would receive a revelation that it was too soon. Teaching had been my life, and even though I knew it was time to go, part of me hoped that staying would be an option.

I retired at the end of the year and became one of those “former teachers.” I had many moments of sadness and questions, even tears a few times. It was the correct decision to retire, but it was still hard. When I thought about it with a clear mind, I knew that I was where I needed to be. However, there were times when I wanted to hang on to my past, a totally emotional response.

Now, after two years, if someone called me offering a teaching position, I would say, “No.” I have built a new life apart from teaching and am pursuing new adventures, including writing these CPW blogs. What is the difference between 2012 and 2014? TIME!

Taking time to adjust to a new situation is vital to our eventual health and overall wellness. Time gives us the ability to see any situation from a long-term perspective. An emotional response is still there, but it is tempered by logic and experience. Letting go of “what might have been” and accepting “what is” leads us to peace. Time is essential for that transition.

Letting go is especially difficult for those whose lives have been impacted by divorce. No matter how good it sounds “on paper” to radically change life in this way, a time of adjustment to the “new norm” of a single life is essential. The strength of Collaborative divorce is the knowledge and hearts of the team members as they guide people through this incredibly difficult transition, including time to heal and adjust. It seems like the only way to go.

Copyright 2014. Marjorie E. James. All rights reserved.